We put so many absolutes on what life and death are, supposed to be, or what it should be, and how it should be. We idealize it, romanticize it and sensationalize it. The statements we make tend to reflect how we internalize and even handle life and death. “No parent should ever have to bury (or lose) a child.” “They died way before their time.” “They died too young.” “What a waste of a life.” “They had more to do or weren’t finished yet.” “They were taken too soon.”
I ask, according to whom? Who set these absolutes and “suppose-to-be’s?”
We set these expectations of how things should be. We place things, ideas, people and beliefs on pedestals only to knock them down and experience disappointment. We disappoint ourselves on a daily basis by buying into others words and we disappoint ourselves by creating false senses of reality. We do whatever it takes to pacify ourselves. We do not even realize that most times in attempting to pacify ourselves, we add to the wound that then takes longer to scab and can lead to a bigger scar. We justify things and situations so much so that we believe our own lies and start to blur the line between sensationalized, romanticized, biological versus energetic, and the un-explainable. There is an essence to and in life and death. Contained within this essence is love, beauty, joy, sorrow, sadness, strength, power, fear, guilt, triumph, confidence, tears, and smiles. The essence does not have any rules attached or tied to it. The essence happens without explanation, empathy, sympathy or regard for “right” and “wrong.” The essence “defies” the things we “know” to be “true.” The human condition seems to crumble under these terms and conditions, but the essence lives on. The essence knows the “truth,” and the soul seeks to understand it, sometimes futilely, while constantly and momentarily bouncing between the essence and physical body. (I believe the physical body is our current soul experience). We create our own conditions/experiences within this essence. These conditions/experiences tend to be either a personal lesson, a lesson for another, or the wonderful occasion where multiple lessons are learned by multiple people and growth is there for the taking by anyone who seeks it, acknowledges it, and accepts it. The purity of the essence is nourishing, if we allow it to be. The essence has everything to give, what are you taking from it? What is your soul learning? How is your soul being nourished and how often is it being nourished?
Not everyone is here to learn something, some are here to be lessons to others, not themselves. Not everyone is here to live for 100 years and not everyone is here to live for a few days, weeks, months, or years. Life is not a guarantee, it is dynamic, not static and it is a variable that is ever changing in every equation. By sensationalizing it, romanticizing it, and idealizing it, we bring the pain, hurt, disappointment and perplexing agony onto ourselves and into each others lives. We have put absolutes in the spaces of the equations where variables “belong” and where the essence always is. Thus we create equations that produce false results. In many cases we have misinterpreted inhumane for humane as well as humane for inhumane. We incessantly perpetuate the need to find the cure, the next best thing, the “game changer,” the thing that is going to make all the difference, the thing that is going to fill the void. That thing is the un-explainable, it is the essence, and the phenomenon of the variable that is life. We have the cure for everything and do not have the cure for everything because everything is ever-changing and contained within the essence. We can heal everything and nothing depending on what we choose to pull from the essence. There is a difference between curing and healing. You can heal, but not be cured because the soul can experience the healing while the physical body may not experience being cured. Then there are times that healing is what perpetuates being cured. How do we pull from the essence to “fill the void?”
Paying reverence to the past and the future and allowing yourself to experience patience will fill the void and allow for life to be lived in the present. To be “real” is to feel, to experience, to question, to understand that there are things and nuances you will never understand and will never even know exist, but it all exists within the essence. I think it is imperative to be “real” and be okay with the fact that we, as humans, may never understand or experience all that the essence is all at once. The false front, the façade, is a dangerous veil, we created, of what constant and never-ending beauty, calm, peace, “understanding,” and reciprocity look like, feel like, and are like. The veil is all the “shoulds,” “coulds,” “woulds,” and “must-be’s.” We create so many supposed-to-be’s that we do not deal with what IS, the present, the essence. How can one begin to go through or get through what IS, when in a fabricated world of suppose?
We begin with forgiving. Forgiveness is for the individual doing the forgiving, not for what is being forgiven. Forgive and let go of what saddens, frustrates, angers, hurts, dismays, and distracts you. Choose to instead pull from the essence that which fills you, feeds you, helps you grow, and allows you to feel and see more happiness, love and joy in each moment moving forward. Allow the things that are “un-nourishing” to be fleeting and then forgiven. Acknowledging their existence, that they need to be freed, and allow the essence to keep those things. Know that the essence holds all the unknowns and “never-knowns” for the times you are ready.
Life and death are both are experienced by all life forms on Earth, and only one is a guarantee, death. Death knows no age, no creed, no ethnicity, or anything else. Allow the un-nourishing “shoulds,” “coulds,” “woulds,” and “suppose-to-be’s” be fleeting and be forgiven. Nourish yourself by pulling all “the wonderful” from the essence and allow yourself to create the best experiences in life as well as around death.
The Pursuit of Forgiveness 