What is the emotion you tend to feel most frequently? What is the emotion you tend to feel the strongest? The emotion that you feel most frequently, is it in every area of your life (i.e. work, family, health, fitness, romantic relationships, family, friends, etc.), a couple areas of your life, or just one area of your life?
What is the emotion you tend to feel second most frequently? Again, do you feel this emotion primarily in one area of your life a couple areas of your life or all areas of your life?
Pay attention to the thoughts that you think the most. When you are by yourself are your thoughts supportive, “unsupportive,” fearful, sad, angry or frustrated, guilty, loving, joyful, happy, optimistic, or pessimistic?
Pay attention to your thoughts as you go about your day maybe even take note of some of the things you tend to think about the most. See if you notice a pattern. See if these thoughts tend to be in one, a couple, or all areas of your life.
This exercise, and this awareness will help you to realize your emotional state of well-being. Is your emotional well-being in a good place? Or in a place that could use a little bit of wonderful change? Having this kind of awareness around yourself allows you to empower yourself, to take responsibility for who you are and how you behave. It allows you to create the powerful wonderful changes in your life that help you to create the best version of you. This allows you to be the person that you want to be, to do the things that you want to do, and have the things that you want to have. An awareness of your emotions and how those emotions affect your behavior, allows you to find the source of what may be holding you back. It allows you to realize that you may not be allowing yourself to feel the things you want to feel or have the relationships that you want to have. It allows you the opportunity to get out of your own way and to find healthy ways to eliminate any self sabotaging that you may have been completely unaware of previously. Once you are aware, you must take responsibility and do the work needed so that self sabotaging becomes extinct.
If you have the awareness and are doing nothing to make and create changes in your life, not only are you being completely irresponsible to yourself, you will also continue to victimize yourself. Thus, you allow others to also victimize you. When we see ourselves as a victim others also see us as victims. When we see ourselves as a victim we behave as a victim, this behavior is what tells people how to treat us. Other people determine how they like someone, how they feel about someone, and how they treat someone by how that person behaves towards them. We wonder why relationships go so terribly wrong in our life. The individual that feels pain, frustration, anger, stress (not the good kind), sadness, hurt, guilt, or any other “negative” emotion most often is likely the one sabotaging himself/herself in every single relationship. The individual also tends to wonder why they have a hard time with friends, family, romantic partners, colleagues, or any other type of relationship. Often times they are so much in their own way that they are unable to see this pattern of behavior and might consistently think that it is the other person’s fault. The tendency is then to constantly blame bad relationships or a lack of relationships on other people. This cycle is what continuously holds us back from accomplishing our goals, feeling joy happiness and love, and living the life that we want to live. People who experience happiness, joy, love, laughter, and emotional vulnerability are the people that tend to have the most friends the happiest relationships the longest lasting relationships. Thus, they tend to feel more fulfillment more often in their life.
As human beings we are able to have a relationship with just about anything. We have a relationship with food, our home, our vehicles, our possessions, our coworkers, family, friends, significant others, ourselves, mammals, marsupials, insects, reptiles, fish, and anything else you can feel emotions toward. A feeling of like or dislike, frustration or joy, as well as other emotions, are what determine whether or not we have a relationship with something. Only if you do not care either way, meaning you are totally flat about something (there is no like dislike or any other type of emotion coming up), may be the only way you know that you do not have a relationship with something. I am going to go as far as saying that for most people, this will only happen with something they do not yet know exists.
So, how do you go about healing your emotions? Start with forgiveness. Forgive others, forgive things, forgive experiences. There is so much more work that can be done around healing our entire lives utilizing a forgiveness process. There are so many wonderful practitioners out there utilizing tools and techniques that help people to release emotional baggage so that they can move forward creating the life that they desire. At the crux of all self-work lies forgiveness.
As a practitioner, I make it a point to integrate different modalities. I am of the belief that there is never a one-size-fits-all, for anyone. I use a combination of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, hypnotherapy, Psych-K, and Jikiden reiki. When one of the modalities is not working, I tweak it, or use another one. More times than not I am combining two or three of them together to make the work the most powerful potent session. I personalize, for the individual that I am working with.
Do yourself a favor, take responsibility for your emotions and your behavior, do the work that needs to be done, and enjoy creating the life that you desire! Start here: Forgiveness Work